When I tell my friends who are not in academe that I am still studying, they look at me and think I’m crazy. They would always tell me, “I’m done with studying. I promised myself after I got my college degree that I wouldn’t study ever again.” And then they ask me why I give myself such a hard time.
Sometimes I do wonder why I keep on pushing myself to achieve more and reach for a Ph.D. Do I still need to prove what I can really do? Am I not contented with what I have achieved? Is it really about the recognition or is it about self-fulfillment?
Honestly, I think it’s both. I do this because it is something I want to do. I want to prove to myself that I can do it. I also want the recognition and the respect that comes with adding three letters after my name. But most of all, I want to learn more and be better at my field. I want to be more confident with what I profess. I want to teach again and mentor young people.
There are times when I really feel like giving up. Today is one of those times. I am at my wit’s end, trying to finish a paper, but I’m not even half way through. I know I should be writing my paper, not blogging. But right now, I’m stuck with my writing. Maybe blogging would help.🙂
I guess I need to think again about the reasons why I am doing this – working my butt off on a weekend to get a paper done.
I do this because I love to learn and I can’t imagine myself not learning and improving.
I do this for myself and no one else.
I do this because I want to.
I do this because I know I can.