Is it possible to love the kind of work you do, but hate your workplace?  I guess so, because that’s just how I feel about my job right now.  When I came to work today, and started doing my tasks, I just thought that if I only had my way in this workplace, I would certainly change a lot of things.  I don’t want to go on and on complaining about this when I know I should be doing something.  I do try, at every opportunity that comes, to make people see how desperately we need to change the way things are being done in this place. 

I was asking a colleague earlier this morning how she has managed to stay here for 20 years.  She couldn’t answer the question.  It just frustrates me that some people do not see the need for change.

I have always been open to change.  I like trying out new ways of doing things.  I believe that by experiencing changes, we can learn more and grow more professionally.  But the people I work with are just so used to their way of doing things and are just downright scared of change that they refuse to even consider the idea of trying out new things.

I remember a professor of mine in grad school told me that I shouldn’t be too idealistic, that I’m still young and that I will have my time.  I guess I am too idealistic.  But what a shame it would be if we totally lose our idealism and we become cynical and jaded about life.  I don’t want to end up like that.

I just hate it when people don’t do their jobs right and come up with mediocre work.  What’s even worse is that the bosses don’t seem to mind that their underlings can’t do things right the first time.  This means that there will always be a waste of time, money and effort because the job will have to be done all over again.  I work in a place where a culture of mediocrity pervades.  People are happy with half-baked jobs, and for them, average is good enough.  Well, it’s not good enough for me.  I was never brought up in a culture of mediocrity.  I have always tried to do my best in everything that I do, believing that anything that is worth doing is worth doing well, or not at all.  It just frustrates me no end that I am stuck in this hellhole (which some people here think is heaven, by the way). 

You might wonder why do I stay even if I’m not happy in this place anymore.  First of all, I’m stuck in the province where jobs are scarce.  The opportunities for my field are in Manila – and I don’t want to leave my family behind or transfer them there.  Second, my line of work is too specialized and I don’t want to work in a field which is not directly related to the course I took.  Third, maybe I still have this idealistic (and crazy) notion that I can make a difference here.  Maybe I am, in my own little way.  In the meantime, I will cuss and complain and blog about my work because it makes me feel good! And because this is the quickest (and safest, I guess) way for me to blow off steam.  So there…now I can get on with my work.

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