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I got this from Toni

I love feel good movies! What's the point in watching a movie if it won't make you feel good? 🙂

http://www.hotfreelayouts.com/movies.php

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I used to love summer breaks, especially when I was a kid.  My mom always brought us to places for a summer vacation, even if it was only in Balasan, Iloilo (her hometown).  This time , however, I don't really look forward to summer because of the unbearable heat.  And because summer to me equates to a higher risk for asthma – not just for me, but also for my kids.

This morning I had to bring Enzo to his pedia because he has been coughing since Monday and last night he had a fever.  I have to arrest the cough so that it doesn't result to asthma.  The heat must have gotten to him.  Also, being exposed to varying degrees of temperature (their classroom is airconditioned and then he plays outside under the heat of the sun) has wreaked havoc on his system.  I know it because Enzo has my genes and he takes a lot from me in the health department. 

Anyway, mag-aantibiotics na naman sya!  I really want to avoid this as much as possible because giving medicines (especially antibiotics) to a toddler is really hell.  There's a lot of prodding and maneuvering and chasing just to get him to drink 5ml of the awful smelling liquid even I wouldn't take! (hehe, mana talaga kay mommy!)  Everytime my parents see me getting all stressed out when I chase after Enzo to give him his medicines, they would laugh at me and say that I'm getting what I deserve because as a child I was also difficult to handle when it comes to taking medicines. 

But as much as I don't like summer, I still prefer it to the rainy season.  I'd rather be hot and dry than cold and soaking wet.  And of course, there's dengue to contend with during the rainy days. 

No, not me!  But our dog, Amber.  She's a one and a half year old Golden Retriever.  We're trying to impregnate her (sorry, couldn't get more specific than this).  Last Saturday and yesterday, we brought her to a stud.  It was a successful meeting, or rather, mating.  Successful in the sense na na-consummate, but as to the impregnation, we still have to wait and see.  Sana nga mabuo. 

I'm not really into dogs as my hubby is, but this time I have a vested interest.  He promised to give me the proceeds of the sale of the puppies.  🙂  So, I have to be extra nice to Amber and cater to her every whim – and hope that she give birth to many puppies!

Anybody interested? P12T per puppy, with papers. 🙂 

Oh, and by the way, the stud (his name is Milo) is a grand champion and Amber comes from a good lineage, too.  I could show you her birth certificate and family tree.

I will be officially starting my new job on June 1 and I can hardly wait.  I will be handing in my resignation next week (May 1 is a holiday so that will be on May 2).  I'm excited to be teaching full-time again.  I know it will be a challenge for me to hold the attention of college students (who have the attention span of a two-year old), but I'm looking forward to it.  When I teach I feel truly alive. 

I don't know if my boss has any idea of me leaving.  I have told some people at work, just a handful of friends, and I hope none of them have leaked my plans to him.  I think they can be trusted naman.  But anyway, if they did tell him, I don't really care now.  I just want to leave this place and start again.

Wish me luck!

Here's something I got from Lenti, a friend from UP. 

You are UP because you can think and speak for yourselves, by your own wits and on your own two feet, and you can do so no matter what the rest of the people in the room may be thinking. 

You are UP because no one can tell you to shut up, if you have something sensible and vital to say.

You are UP because you dread not the poverty of material comforts but the poverty of the mind.

And you are UP because you care about something as abstract and sometimes as treacherous as the idea of "nation," even if it kills you.

Sometimes, long after UP, we forget these things and become just like everybody else; I certainly have.  Even so, I suspect that that forgetfulness is laced with guilt – the guilt of knowing that you were, and could yet become, somebody better.  And you cannot even arge that you did not know, because today, I just told you so.

– excerpt from Jose Dalisay's speech

I am not a patient person.  I easily lose my temper and when I do, it's not a pretty sight.  I'm not proud that I am like this and I would really want to change and be more patient.  Yesterday, though, I had a really bad experience, something I want to forget but can't help remembering.

I've been meaning to let go of one of my mom's attendants for financial reasons.  I've also heard from the maids that she has been complaining about a lot of things at home and has bossed them around.  On account of her, several of our helpers have left because tinatarayan niya.  At first, I didn't mind these because I know that being in a household with different personalities can be very explosive.  Someone is bound to say bad things about another.  My mistake was I didn't investigate it immediately because I didn't want them to confront each other and fight about it.

Last weekend, though, something happened which was the last straw for me.  My dad told me that 3 capsules of Somazine (my mom's most expensive medicine for the brain) got lost.  My dad suspected one of the attendants because a few months back she sold us 3 capsules of the same medicine, presumably from a neighbor whose husband had stroke and died.  When we asked her about it, she was quite evasive.  Although we never really confirmed that it was she who got the medicines, I felt I I couldn't trust her anymore, and I couldn't let her go on taking care of Nanay without that trust.  If she did get the medicines, I really doubt if she would confess to it.

There were also other things that happened which made me want to let her go.  I found out from one of the helpers that there was one time before that she forced my mom to walk and my mom nearly fell.  I don't even want to think about what could have happened if she fell on her head. 

We talked yesterday morning and earlier I prayed for the strength to say what I had to say.  I should have prayed for self-control.  I just totally lost it.  I know I said awful things to her but I was just so angry. Anyway, I don't regret letting her go because I couldn't trust her anymore.  What I regret the most is that I allowed myself to lose control.  I know I could have talked to her in a nice way, but I was just so angry that I forgot all about saving whatever relationship we had. 

I'm not proud of what I did, but I feel like telling people about it.  I don't know… maybe this is some sort of confession.  I just hope that I can somehow make amends (maybe not to her but to other people) for the wrong that I did. 

This April my kids have reached certain milestones in their lives.  Evie turned 6 months and she has started eating solid foods.  While some parents start theirs kids on solid foods at only 4 months, I decided to wait until my baby reached 6 months because I have read (here) that a baby at four months is starting to get ready for solid food but he or she won't be really ready to start eating solids until the age of 6 months.  I started by giving her cereal and I later on added some veggies (potatoes, carrots, and squash – one at a time, of course).  I was really happy because she was so easy to feed and very eager to eat. 

Enzo, on the other hand, started summer school last Monday.   He will be turning 3 in July and we decided to enroll him this summer for socialization with kids his age.  I enrolled him at a pre-school very near my workplace, less than 5 minutes away.  He seems to be enjoying it.  I was even surprised this morning that I did not have to wake him up at 7AM because he woke up by himself.  Although there is still the usual whining when he is given his bath, once he's all dressed up, he would tell me, "Mommy, let's go na!"  Sometimes I hear him singing the alphabet song and other songs he learned in school.  And he has brought home some work they do in school with very good marks. It's not much really, 'cause they're just starting to color, but I'm really proud of him because he's starting to learn how to develop his fine motor skills.  Pretty soon, I know he'll be writing. 

My kids are growing!  It's such an exciting time for them, and for me, too.  Sometimes I wish they would stay young, but at the same time I can't wait for them to grow up and become their own persons.  For now, I'm just enjoying my children and I consider myself truly blessed to have been given this wonderful gift of parenthood.

Have you ever eagerly volunteered to help a friend only to find yourself trapped in a situation that is giving you a headache (literally and figuratively) – and wishing you never said yes in the first place? 

That's exactly how I feel right now. 

I'm helping out a friend who is doing his dissertation.  I kinda promised him that I would do the stats for his paper and now I'm up to my neck with work.  I can't do the analysis unless I clean up his data first using Excel.  I've been cleaning his data since yesterday and until now I'm still at it.  Imagine having to copy, paste, transpose, and sort 1,600++ cases of 10-15 variables!  I have to make his data readable to the statistical software I will be using for the analysis.  I'm getting tired, my eyes are ready to pop from staring at the monitor, and I'm so frustrated already.  But I can't get out of this anymore.  His defense is on Friday and we have to finish the statistical analysis by 6pm today so that he can give a copy to his panel members.

Don't get me wrong.  It's not that I don't want to help him because I really do.  It's just that the task is taking me forever to finish and I also have a million other things to do which I've put on hold to accommodate his paper. 

Oh well, I guess the only thing I can do now is to go on with this.  I know he can't do this on his own – and I did promise to help him.  I learned my lesson, though.  Next time, I should make sure that when I help out, I wouldn't be doing all the work – I'll just be helping out. 

Okay, so I better get back to my work.  I just hope I can finish this on time. 

I still have a hang over from my one-week vacation and I can't concentrate on my work.  So here I am, blogging again. 🙂  Here's something I got from Toni

Write one word that you associate with the given item. Write down the first word that comes to mind.

1.  Yourself:  Sleepy

2.  Your Spouse:  Busy

3.  Your Hair:  Straight

4.  Your Mother:  Strong

5.  Your Father:  Devoted

6.  Your Favorite Item:  Bag

7.  Your Dream Last Night:  duh…can't remember!

8.  Your Favorite Drink:  Water

9.  Your Dream Home:  Two-storey

10.  The Room You Are In:  Cramped

11.  Your Pet: Amber

12.  Who You Are Now:  Mommy

13.  Who You Want to be in Five Years:  Doctor (of Education)

14.  Who You Want to be in Ten Years:  Traveler

15.  What You're Not:  Patient

16.  Your Best Friend:  Karol

17.  One of your Wishlist Items:  Travel

18.  Your Gender:  Female

19.  The Last Thing You Did:  Type

20.  What Are You Wearing:  Brown

21.  Your Favorite Weather:  Sunny

22.  Your Favorite Book:  Nancy Drew (first thing that came to mind eh! LOL)

23.  The Last Thing You Ate:  Eggs

24.  Your Life:  Exciting

25.  Your Mood:  So-so 

Found this fun?  Try it! 🙂

Palm Sunday – Went to Iloilo with the kids.  Brought a yaya who got sea-sick and was sick the whole time we were in Iloilo.  Dean and I ended up taking care of the kids ourselves.  Went to the bday celebration of Dean's uncle, but wasn't able to mingle with the relatives because Dean was busy running after Enzo while I had to carry Evie the whole time.  Meanwhile, yaya was in the lobby – still sick.  Aaaarrgggghhh!  I was so pissed off! Wasn't able to go to SM to shop. 😦

Holy Monday – Was cooped up in the hotel room the whole day.  Evie was being colicky again so I hardly had time to rest.  Enzo went with his lola to SM (buti pa sya!).  Dean was doing admin work in the hotel the whole day, too.  Went out of the hotel at 7pm to have dinner.  Had no yaya (she was at my in-laws' place – resting!) so Dean and I had to take turns eating since someone had to hold Evie.  I should have brought the stroller. 😦

Holy Tuesday – Took the roro back to Bacolod.  Yaya was sea-sick again the whole time so Dean and I had our hands full with the kids.  Got home 5pm and spent the whole night cleaning up our messy room to make it livable.  Good thing Nay's attendant brought us a new yaya (the one we brought to Iloilo was leaving the next day) for Evie.  But Enzo was still yaya-less so I still couldn't get my rest.

Holy Wednesday – My body was begging for a workout so Dean and I went to the gym.  Spent 30 mins doing cardio and an hour and a half lifting weights.  While working out, I got a call from La Salle – I got the job!  So, I'll be officially starting my new job this June.   I got an early Easter gift. 🙂  Hooray for me!

Holy Thursday – Spent the morning and afternoon cleaning the house.  Went to Mass at 5pm.  Went home and played with the kids.  Evie turned 6 mos and I started her on solid food.  🙂

Good Friday – Cleaned the house again (ang daming kailangang linisin!!).  Played with the kids.  Went to Mass at 3pm.  Bought fish at the local wet market with Dean and my sister.  Slept early!  Sobrang pagod sa paglilinis.

Black Saturday – Needed to get out of the house.  Went to Rob with Enzo, Dean, my sis and her boyfriend.  Bought clothes and shoes for Evie and Enzo (may baby sale kasi sa dept store) and bought shoes for me and my sis at Celine – may sale din! 🙂

Easter Sunday – Morning:  washed the kids' new clothes, cleaned the bathroom and house pa rin. Domesticated na talaga ako!!!  Afternoon:  Brought my sis to the airport.  It was a short but wonderful vacation (her words).  Went to Bago City after bringing her to the airport to check out the Golden Retriever of a friend.  Our Golden is in heat and we want to have her breed na. Sana mabuntis kaagad para we can make money. 🙂  Went to Mass at 5pm with the kids.  Enzo was so makulit during the Mass and I could hardly concentrate.  Went home immediately after the Mass and slept early kasi Enzo needed to wake up early the next morning (today, that is).  He started going to school today. 🙂

And that's my Holy Week.  I didn't really spend it praying as it is supposed to be spent.  But I'm glad I had time to be with my kids and to do the much needed house cleaning. 

Ikaw, how was your Holy Week?