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When I tell my friends who are not in academe that I am still studying, they look at me and think I’m crazy.  They would always tell me, “I’m done with studying.  I promised myself after I got my college degree that I wouldn’t study ever again.”  And then they ask me why I give myself such a hard time.

Sometimes I do wonder why I keep on pushing myself to achieve more and reach for a Ph.D.  Do I still need to prove what I can really do?  Am I not contented with what I have achieved?  Is it really about the recognition or is it about self-fulfillment?

Honestly, I think it’s both.  I do this because it is something I want to do.  I want to prove to myself that I can do it.  I also want the recognition and the respect that comes with adding three letters after my name.  But most of all, I want to learn more and be better at my field.  I want to be more confident with what I profess.  I want to teach again and mentor young people.

There are times when I really feel like giving up.  Today is one of those times.  I am at my wit’s end, trying to finish a paper, but I’m not even half way through.  I know I should be writing my paper, not blogging.  But right now, I’m stuck with my writing.  Maybe blogging would help. 🙂

I guess I need to think again about the reasons why I am doing this – working my butt off on a weekend to get a paper done.

I do this because I love to learn and I can’t imagine myself not learning and improving.

I do this for myself and no one else.

I do this because I want to.

I do this because I know I can. 

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Just read this article on Psychology Today about how women tend to obsess more about things and think too much than men do.  I guess our brains are wired that way.

I’m sorry I can’t help it! 😀  Sometimes, analyzing and re-analyzing things in my mind helps me come to terms with the events happening to my life.  Hubby doesn’t really want to talk about it or to analyze things the way I do, so I’m left with me, myself and I – just thinking.

Aaarrgggh!  I know I think too much.  Gotta get out of this rumination rut or else I’ll drive myself mad!!!

 

 

I haven’t blogged in WordPress for a loooong time.  In fact, I haven’t blogged at all.  I’ve been content to just go through my Facebook account, comment on some people’s posts, add pictures, and from time to time write something.  But as for blogging, haven’t really done it for more than a year.

Now that I have a faster Internet connection at home, I’m hoping I can update my blog more often.  I miss this. 🙂

Hello blog!  Hello blogosphere! Hello blog friends!  It’s been soooo long since I last blogged…buti na lang my fingers still remember my wordpress password! hehe.

Anyway, the long absence has been due to the following reasons:

  1. Just too damn many papers to check!!!
  2. Doing two research projects na super urgent kasi they were political surveys, done only four months apart (Sept 2006 and Jan 2007)
  3. I’m just too drained out to think and blog after a long and tiring day trying to make teenagers understand statistics!
  4. I lose my patience trying to blog using dial-up internet.  After my rant, I find out too late that the bandwidth is not enough for me to publish my post. Inis!

Anyway, I relish this time that I can blog again… although I can’t promise that this will be regular na ulit.  Finals are fast approaching…and then there’s summer classes to contend with… haay…i get tired just thinking about the work ahead.

I’m posting a few pics of my family…para naman magkalaman ‘tong blog ko! 

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It's been 8 months since Nanay left the hospital.  I can still vividly recall how she was sent home via an ambulance because she could neither sit on a wheelchair nor walk to the car.  At that time, her condition was stable and her doctors sent her home because they had done everything for her and all she needed was nursing care. Within two months from coming home, Nanay was able to sit on a wheelchair.  Within five months, she was walking with a walker (although her attendant still has to be near to support her).  And now, after eight months she can finally go to the bathroom when she wants to urinate.  I know these are just small steps, but after seeing her wavering between sleep and consciousness for 17 days in the hospital, I would say that she has gone a long way.  She has been very determined to get better – and I'm praying hard that the next faculty she regains would be her speech.  I can only imagine how frustrating it must be for her – a former teacher – to lose the ability to speak.  If there's one thing I really learned from this whole experience, it's the value of patience.  Much as I would want to see her walking and talking again, I know that she has to take it slow, too.  After all, we wouldn't want to get her too agitated which could lead to another stroke.  But I do believe in my heart that, in time, Nanay will get better.  She just has to take it one small step at a time.

my font has changed from verdana to times new roman… and i don’t like it! will somebody please teach me how to get back to my old font? 😦 pretty please…

I finally created my own blog outside of Friendster.  I’ve been meaning to do this for some time now, even before there was Friendster.  I just didn’t know enough about blogging then.  Not that I know a lot now, but at least, I’m getting the hang of it, after blog surfing for several weeks.

I thought it’s time that I make my own blog that’s not with friendster because there are limitations to the friendster blog.  For one thing, I found out that I can’t create Archives of my posts.  I have to upgrade to a paid friendster account to do that. (Thanks, but no thanks!)

When I started blogging, I think about a year ago, I basically wrote for myself.  I didn’t know if there were others reading my posts and I didn’t really care if they read them.  I just enjoyed putting my thoughts on the net and it was a good way to de-stress.  Later on, I found out that my friends were actually reading my blog! Hehe… I’ve received emails and text messages asking me to keep on writing because it was a good way for them to be updated about me.  And then when I started blog surfing and posting comments at other people’s blogs, I was even more surprised when they responded to my comments. I also gave them the link to my friendster blog and they have also read my posts.  Now I have found new friends through blogging.  And I’m thoroughly enjoying myself. 🙂

And so… here is my new blog.  A new home for my thoughts, reflections, rants and raves.  This is my space.  Welcome to my world! 🙂